You are not alone

Having things go wrong is a part of human life right? You think you’re doing ok with life as you juggle through each day but then something comes along and trips you up.

And the thing we don’t realise is, pretty much everyone else is going through something too. Chances are it won’t be the exact same something as what you’re going through. But its still just as life altering to them as your issue is to you.

We all like to keep our private battles hidden away, too scared to share them with others in case we get judged. Or gossiped about. Or ridiculed. Our shame keeps our battles and scars hidden, in a deep dark place that only we get to peek into.

Hiding in the dark, our bits of shame bang along together, joining forces, growing stronger and solidifying together in their discontent. And then we show the world our numbness or pain or anger or depression or anxiety. But we don’t show our shame.

Our vulnerability keeps our shame trapped underneath these labels. Hidden from the world but still causing us pain.

And we engage in all kinds of behaviour to avoid feeling that pain: alcohol, drugs, addictions, food, self harm. The pain comes out in the end.

It takes a long time before we begin to deal with the pain proactively. Instead of living through our nightmare we seek help to get through it. Well, the brave ones do. They see the pain they are pushing onto people they love and decide to change. They use their courage to reach through their fear and ask to share their pain.

And the amazing thing is that there are other people with your pain. Reaching out to share it with you. And somehow, quite magically, one piece of pain + one piece of pain is = to less pain. The very act of giving away your pain actually lessens it. Wow.

So know, when you are in pain and your shame is overwhelming you that the best thing you can do is trust and take the step. Reach out to another person. Share that shame and lift that burden. Because no one is alone. We’re all in this together.